I know this is a parody, but:
In the US, you might soon need a white “walking buddy” when they re-instate Jim Crow laws, because you wouldn’t be allowed to travel without a white man leading the group.
“I will be right there, I am just 3 white guys away from that place”
Honestly in some areas of town late at night, I would totally make use of a service like this…
…but I’d also expect the service be abused by people seeking people to harass.
I feel awfully called out as a 1994 white Kevin…
Do they bring their own leash or can you use your own?
Both see the same offer, neither get the money
rent a girlfriend?
Dude there’s probably a business in that. People typically just get hookers for that weird situation where a rich powerful man has to go to an event and bring a plus one, and he can’t find a woman who doesn’t hate him so he has to rent one by the hour.
Make it an app. Fuck it. Lets let the business majors ruin that too.
Is the hand holding optional or?
Compulsory.
Your preference will be determined through biometrics and you will be billed on a scale determine by your Uber rating.
Is uber not profitable?
unlike other comments, I’d argue, like most tech, it was incredibly profitable for anyone except the people funding it.
Business is not about extracting money from goods and services, it’s about tricking VC funders to give you 50 million dollars a year
Hilariously unprofitable. They even came up with creative accounting to show how, despite never being profitable they may turn a profit if you don’t count their debts and losses.
Never has been Earth astronauts gun meme
No, but fr Uber is a masterclass in creative accounting and strategic acquisitions for further creative accounting.
“In 2023, Uber reported its first annual profit since going public in 2019, with a net income of $1.9 billion. This follows a period of consistent losses for the company.”
Their whole business model is “wait for self driving and then $$$” as they’ll no longer have to pay anybody.
I don’t say this much but that is actually a good idea, considering the amount of people that live very lonely and isolated lives. Maybe this can help some people to talk, enjoy another’s company, etc. Maybe. Everything else the effing internet and tech companies tried only managed to push people apart…
Except that it gives predators an easy way to be alone with drunk women. I wouldn’t trust Uber’s security checks.
Same risk with a driver, I’d guess.
Uber invented escorts
Revamped the concept.
sure, it’s nice to do something about loneliness. Makes me think of human libraries, where you can borrow a human to have a talk with. But please, let’s do these things voluntarily and not for profit. There’s something nasty about “I’m only willing to speak to you if you pay me”.
Isn’t that a japanese thing? With cafes where you go to talk with a person?
But back to the subject at hand.
I could see this as a way to get someone’s help to take some groceries home or some large object a single person can’t, as it is too akward to hold alone.
Or as a personal guide or to have company to go to/through somewhere someone does not feel comfortable.
Honestly this is a great joke but also could legitimately be a good service for someone who didn’t feel safe walking alone, or needs help navigating
A lot of university campuses have this. It’s a good idea.
They probably don’t charge money for that service though, and that’s a better idea.
They do, it’s part of the tuition
Not really the same. Charging for this would discourage people from using it. They have to make a choice on feeling safe vs. spending money.
This gives everyone the option and subsidizes it to the entire community.
This is exactly why socializing things like this is beneficial.
Every service has a cost. That cost is the value of the labor being provided. But we decide as a society that providing services like this benefits everyone living in society. Regardless of if they use it directly or not.
When people say “free” in this context that’s what they mean. They mean the decision based on personal finance is removed.
We don’t want people choosing personal finance over safety or health. Removing that dependency benefits everyone.
Good point. A sort of community service I guess
Maybe subsidized by it, but a lot of services from my local state institution are accessible by all.
John Mulaney has a joke about how his parents knew Bill Clinton that way, from all going to undergrad together at Georgetown. Apparently all the women loved being escorted by Bill Clinton, and the men were all jealous.
Wait: My memory of the story was that Clinton loved to escort women around and constantly signed up for the duty, and everyone else on all sides of the equation had no particular strong feelings about it. Except for John Mulaney’s mom.
Tbh, it makes sense. You don’t end up being president by being a no-rizz fool. You may be considering bringing up Trump as a counter-argument, but just look at all the people that are letting him pound them in the ass right now.
deleted by creator
The 99%
Well yeah, he was the president.
Especially if they’d help carry your bags and whatnot; that could be very helpful for someone who has mobility issues or just has a lot of things they need to bring. Well worth $7.50
how can it be this cheap though? sure it doesn’t require gas but it takes longer so the guy would need more pay for the service right?
The business model is to make it cheap initially by subsidizing it with investor capital. So, the gig worker may be paid more than the user is being charged. Then, eventually raise the price once the user base is large enough and dependent enough on it (or the prior alternative is sufficiently put out of business).
If they actually matched up with the routes other people might take, I would do it. I’m always walking around downtown anyways, but I’m a relatively large poor-looking man so I never get hassled.
It’s at least 5 years old and it seems every single year the news outlets “fact check” it and declare it false.
Meanwhile we have actual conspiracy theories on official government websites and those same outlets say nothing.
I hate this timeline.
There’s been jokes that end up becoming reality so yearly fact-checks is appreciated
For the first time, I saw a car with Uber stickers in my country. Wanted to peel them off, but I also don’t wanna get in a fight over it. Pretty sure it’ll mostly be used by foreigners because the local alternative has several years of advantage and is also a multinational now.
Why?
friend, if i gotta burn down shit while facing forced disappearance to el salvador, you’d better be peeling the corporatists’ stickers off cars to protect your local alternative
Friend, I live at least 7 timezones away from you. I appreciate you burning shit down, but the people who voted the orange fascist into power are your friends and family, not me.
America is so large that it’s very possible that person has no friends or family who voted for trump at all. I know I don’t.
Suddenly everyone is on their high horse about number of time zones away.
Also is Uber really the number one corporation we need to be fighting right now?
i quite don’t
is your nation so removed from the world as to be immune to the resurrection of fascism and the march of billionaire monopolists? i suppose I’m nearly 12 timesones away from North Sentinel Island
If the fascists here take over, it’ll be the local ones tbh. But don’t worry, I’m already running a personal trade surplus with the USA. Trump would hate me.
Is this real? I wouldn’t be surprised
Nah, just a meme.
Did not expect Uber entering to pimp industry.
