Water based lube.
It’d have to be a communal bath though, and I’m inviting you all, even Hairy Steve.
Extrapolating from the slipperiness of lube on the floor: this is a terrible idea. People will be bouncing around like pinballs.
This just sounds more and more appealing. Count me in.
Y tho
Milk ?
Gallium? It’s solid at room temperature, but your own body heat will melt it, so you lie down on a solid block of metal and then slowly sink into a melting puddle in the middle of it. It’s non-toxic and six times denser than water so you’d be really floaty on it too
Sounds like something out of a horror film. Your body heat melts you into the material. Then, as heat gets distributed and you have more skin contact, you are no longer generating enough heat to keep the gallium melted.
You either suffocate as the material solidifies around your abdomen or you freeze to death as the material pulls enough heat from you to kill you.
This was my first thought. Terrifying! Claustrophobia has entered the chat.
Shit
150 litres of Gallium would cost $130800
Well that does make it quite regrettable for most people, I suppose
It might act like a giant heatsink tho, making your body cool out as soon as it starts melting and creating proper surface contact. But chilling in 20°C water is also not really an issue so i guess it depends on the thermal conductivity of the skin/gallium interface.
Just use something similar with a lower melting point. Mercury or cesium both do. You’re welcome!
You’ll completely float on mercury, and cesium does no good to your body. Like, at all.
Thanks i will try it out later :)
I’m sure an Infinite ice bath has an appeal to someone
You don’t want it to get in your body (holes, cuts etc…)
Missed opportunity for a Saw film
the physical description also applies to butter
Astroglide
Vegetable oil
Hand scrubber wash. You know the hand soap/lotion thing full of beads to scrub your hands clean? Love that. I’d get in a tub of that.
Heinz Baked Beans.
Baked Beans
Excuse you, this isn’t unconventional at all, 69,000,000 Brits do it every morning
It seems that you need to go watch Tommy: A Rock Opera immediately
no regrets?
Clarified butter
Heavy water - like water, just heavier.
What dilution? 25% makes you sterile and 50% kills you after a week of drinking it
Don’t eat your bath salts. Don’t drink your bathwater.
As a general rule: Just don’t.
but its me soup, how can I resist?
You have to have 25% and 50% in your body fluids for it to happen, if you drink a glass of 50% heavy water you won’t drop dead a week later.
Maybe coconut water or aloe vera gel, I imagine it’d feel weird but probably not regrettable.
I guess we’ve got to beat Cleopatra as our baseline with her bath of asp milk.
Marmite would probably veer into the regrettable category, and I’m saying that as a marmite enjoyer
You’ve got two Cleopatra stories mixed up there.
She was said to bathe in ass’s (donkey’s) milk.
She killed herself by holding an asp (snake) to her breast.
coconut water
in a heartbeat
aloe vera
I can imagine this feeling really tingly after a while, though not sure why.
asp milk
what is this? I googled and found nothing
marmite
I too partake joyfully in that hellish sludge, and have wondered what depths of depravity I would willingly go to to satisfy that dark craving
Wikipedia says donkey milk was used by Cleopatra, not asp milk. Maybe OP meant ass milk and got autocorrected, but that sounds really wrong.
An asp is a type of snake so that sounds uhh, difficult
You can milk snake venom. Still doesn’t sound too easy.
what is this? I googled and found nothing
Ah I got my history slightly wrong, she bathed in donkey milk and just liked asps (a kind of snake)
The asses’ milk would moisturize skin. I assume a water rinse though, because old milk stinks and could cause a yeast infection.
The asp was legendarily her choice to commit suicide, though it was probably an Egyptian Cobra, if it was a snake at all. (Asp bite death is slower and much more painful than cobra bite death.) I have a theory that the asp legend depends partly on the fact it’s easier to rhyme “asp” than Egyptian Cobra. As for snakebite in general, I note that male artists have universally portrayed the snake biting her on her bare booby. That’s not actually a good way to get the venom quickly to the heart/brain/lungs, because boobies are mostly fat, but it makes good
pornArt.
Macaroni & cheese
no regrets? You’d just get up and go to bed covered in the stickiness?
Who says I’m going to bed?
Vanta Black
I’m gambling that the experience of it would mitigate how much of a pain in the ass the repercussions would be.
Edit: I suppose I ought to have looked before, but this appears to be not the healthiest decision (who’d have though‽). Maybe we’ll go with some kind of closest equivalent nontoxic paint?
Vantablack isn’t really paint, it’s a coating of nanotubes the size of an atom. I wonder what that would feel like.
Yeah, after I looked at it a bit and saw that exposure to/inhaling nanotubes probably isn’t the greatest idea I figured nontoxic paint was the next go to.
I wanna know what it feels like though :(
Nice interrobang.
On the morbidly curious side of things, I do wonder what such a person looks like. You would just notice the eyes and the hair. Everything else would just be stark contrast.
There’s also the whole, “went vanta black face” issue
Vanta black face is only 2d racism.Which is a measurable amount, but incomparable to 3d racism.
Oobleck for the experience. It wouldn’t clean you, but you’d have a story. Possibly mild regret if it’s in a bathtub that you need to clean or a house who’s plumbing you’re responsible for afterwards.
I like it – though how do I get out of it?
Very slowly.
Zero sugar energy drinks.
No sugar means its not gonna get sticky, it’d rinse right off.
I imagine a bunch of creams already use the b vitamins you’d get since they love shoving b vitamins in those.
And it’ll actually drain when you’re done and a quick rinse will get everything normal afterwards.
Would the caffeine have any effect? Can skin absorb it?
coke zero, no question. diet coke? no thank you. Pepsi max? gtfo
Imagine rocking up to the weird bath house all prepped to bathe in Coke and they’re like, “Oh, sorry. We only have Pepsi.”
burn the place to the ground would be the most reasonable response
