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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 14th, 2023

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  • I literally had someone honk at me while I was crossing the street on foot, at a crosswalk where they had a red light and I had the right of way. Some drivers just assume you are supposed to get out of their way regardless of the law.

    On the bike I stop (or at least California stop) and check at every crossroads, I move to the side off the road for awhile to let cars pass if they are behind me, walk the bike across any larger intersections using the crosswalk. make every effort to be seen and polite, oh so polite.

    But a fucking crosswalk, while the light is red for cars, who doesn’t know how that works? You shouldn’t drive if you don’t know at least the basic rules.



  • I didn’t enjoy being a kid at all, but being an adult I do like, don’t mind working because they pay me.

    “Everyone else got it” is a stretch.

    It does sound like you are carrying a lot of trauma, I don’t want to minimize that, but if you are able bodied, can see and hear and move and think, you are ahead of a lot of people. If you live in a developed nation, you are ahead of a lot of people. I don’t think even a majority of kids get the idealized childhood you think they do.

    If you have no kids or obligations - what I did was get a lot of roommates to get living cost low and yeah, did just work a minimal job and hang out for a few years before sort of getting more serious about work. Never did the career ladder thing but did get a good job and I can say with absolute honesty - it got better.







  • I am certainly not in your target demographic, and personally yeah it would be a turnoff but it would be really stupid for you to try to change and be unhappy - you don’t need everyone to appreciate you in a romantic way, you only need a few admirers, right?

    Looking at the people my kids date (more likely your age) they don’t seem to have the preference for “manly men”, none of them. They like guys who are not afraid to be soft, not afraid to wear nail polish or look ‘girly’ or whatever, they seem to find guys who do the Masculine thing actively off-putting. So you are in a good cultural moment I’d say. I think you will do fine being yourself, also never think it’s a weakness to be gentle and caring. Most people want to be taken care of to some extent, just make sure this isn’t a one-way thing, you take care of them too.





  • Do you eat meat? Big hunk o’ pork is one of the favorite meals of my kids. Salt the meat then broil or sear it in a pan. Put it in the slow cooker. Use broth, water, or wine to deglaze the pan and pour that over the meat.

    Cut a couple of garlic heads in half horizontally, you don’t have to peel them. Toss them in.

    Pour in the rest of the bottle of wine or box of broth, some orange juice is good too, lime if you didn’t have wine. Or some vinegar works if you don’t have lime. If you have cilantro put the stems in, if you don’t, don’t worry about it.

    Close and cook on low all day. We usually have it with rice and black beans the first day, it’s good in tortillas with salsa, good on nachos, good in enchiladas, it’s just good


  • I guess we just disagree then. I literally don’t think it’s misbehaviour or anything to police like that. You want to put some sort of barrier up, but for what? So they will only do it at the girlfriend’s house? What does that accomplish? OP is not proposing to “provide turn down service, mints, and send them up to bed after dinner” just okaying a sleepover.


  • I do disagree because the drinking age where I am is 21, and drinking and driving is dangerous. So that would be asking if they can engage in illegal and potentially deadly activities. My kids will tell me if their friends drink at a party but they don’t, and they have all been comfortable with that too. But yes I like that they can tell me and ask for advice.

    Sex, I very much prefer they have a safe space, I will leave and give them privacy, they are not doing anything wrong or illegal at all. I don’t actually think i’s a bad idea, it’s a natural part of a romantic relationship, and the kid is 17. And don’t understand your view that it’s safer for them to hide it from you? I hear the stories my kids tell about other kids and remember growing up in a household like that.


  • RBWells@lemmy.worldtoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.world*Permanently Deleted*
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    3 days ago

    I’ve raised a lot of kids through teen years and YES absolutely. Him being able to casually tell you this is an affirmation of your success as a parent. He doesn’t feel like you are going to freak out. Talk with him about safe sex and enthusiastic consent, about how no birth control is 100% safe, make sure he’s not ignorant. Congratulations, parent, you have raised a reasonable person.

    I’d invite her over often if it keeps his room clean!



  • You have to figure out a diet you can comfortably maintain forever, eat for your target weight. It’s no use just losing weight, you have to stay at a healthy weight.

    So it’s going to be individual. For me, increased activity is the only factor, apparently I eat the same all the time. So walking everywhere or adding extra exercise works better.

    I had a friend who lost weight by just reduced portions - she literally just took 1/3 less of everything. Like left more space on her plate. And another who ate popcorn for supper. Regular breakfast, regular lunch, then in the evening just popcorn. So again was eating 2/3 of what she had been. But then you have to keep it that way to maintain the weight.