Rules: explain why
Ready player one.
That has to be one of the cringiest movies I’ve seen, is tries so hard, too hard with it’s “WE LOVE YOU NERD, YOU’RE SO COOL FOR PLAYING GAMES AND GETTING THIS 80S REFERENCE” message and the whole “corporation bad, the people good” narrative seems written for toddlers… The fan service feels cheap and adds nothing to the story.
Finally, they trying to make the people believe that very attractive girl with a barely visible red tint spot on her face is “ugly”… Like wtf?
Yet it received decent reviews plus being one of the most successful movies of that year.
Pretty much all of the Avengers films.
They aren’t engaging in any way. The characters are unintelligent and full of self importance. The whole franchise is Just loud noises and shark jumping.
Forest Gump. The 1994 Best Picture nominees were some of the most highly competitive the Academy has ever had, and they went with the one that was just a straight-up terrible fucking movie. It has no value except as nostalgia bait for Americans and propaganda for those who want to believe in the myth of American individual exceptionalism.
Its musical score is also probably the worst thing I’ve ever had the misfortune of performing in an orchestra. Dull and repetitive.
And its most famous line is straight-up bullshit. I’ve heard the book does it differently, but the movie puts “something that kinda sounds deep to a 14 year old” over a level of rationality that stands up to 20 seconds of thought from an average person. A box of chocolates tells you precisely what you’re going to be getting.
Marvel movies. Yes all of them. They’re trash. It’s just cgi slop, badly written one-dimensional characters, cliché tropes, formulaic stories, plotholes bigger than meteorcraters and brainless action sequences. A cashgrab.
A saw a couple; I gave them a fair chance. They’re all the same. The appeal is beyond me. Brainrot at its finest.
Spirited Away
No consistent world, cringy behaviour of the main character, love story out of nowhere, you can’t have a plot twist if you didn’t have any previously established lore. It felt a bit like a dream that was trying to take itself seriously as an actual story.
Spirited Away, and to some degree all Ghibli stuff leans very heavily on a shared cultural Mythos. It doesn’t do exposition in the same way that zombies or angels aren’t explained; everyone knows that stuff because we all grew up with a million references.
how dare you
Upvote
If you think Ernest Cline’s movie is cringy, wait until you read his poetry. Absolutely one of the worst piece of writing I’ve ever read.
And it only gets worse from there.
Interstellar. That ending was so unbelievably dumb that I can’t even stomach the rest of the movie thinking about it.
I know it’s got rave reviews, a stacked cast, Nolan directing. Plenty was pretty, cool concepts, high stakes scenes. But that ending… shudders
Joker
I thought it was pretentious, had no real story and pretty much just milked the gritty batman of the already not great nolan movies
I feel like Joker is one of those movies that needed to be on its own. It doesn’t feel like a Batman universe movie. It feels like a movie about some kind of mental illness that they slapped Batman related stuff on.
But then as a stand alone movie on mental illness it is so mediocre. I feel that it’s only palatable if you’re into popcorn movies and have no reference of good psychological drama.
I related to this movie/character on a personal level. I haven’t been able to fully explain why, maybe that’s the gist of it : it expresses struggles that I haven’t been able to put into words, yet I saw on film so eerily resembling mine
This is also one of the reasons I liked it. I knew exactly why it spoke to me, though. I was always very submissive in my life, unable to stand for myself. I was trying to change my approach when the movie came out. The scenes where he defends himself resonated with me deeply.
Some Nolan stuff.
Inception: I understand it, it’s just extremely convoluted and dumb.
Oppenheimer: It’s a movie with 95% dialogue, and he decided to put loud droning music under every conversation so you can barely hear the people talking.
The dark knight trilogy: I just can’t take batman seriously in it. The voice is so silly, and the pointy ears just look really out of place in this very serious take.
Anyway, I do like some of Nolans movies, these are my pet peeves.It’s a movie with 95% dialogue, and he decided to put loud droning music under every conversation so you can barely hear the people talking.
The audio mixing in his movies is genuinely terrible. If you aren’t watching them with subtitles, you’re probably missing half the plot because of background noise.
Ready Player One was so bad, but this is a rare instance where the book is worse than the film. At least the film has visuals the book is just cringe and rememberberries.
Agreed. The movie is just a fun action film wirh no brainpower needed. If you go into it with no expectations it’s fine.
The book? The author insists on yanking you out of the story with listicles of callbacks and references to obscure ‘80s shows or whatever. The main character is just an ass, and is also conveniently capable of meeting every challenge thrown at him despite being an impoverished basement dweller. The book became a slog of contrivances to get from A to B with “Aren’t all these retro references cool?” jammed in at every opportunity.
Not one comment in here about Lord of the Rings.
Which I agree with. Amazing movies. Glad everyone’s on the same page.
For me, it’s James Cameron’s Avatar. Visually stunning, especially for its time, but the story has to be the most cliche, predictable, boring, lazy piece of writing to ever have existed. It’s like they held an environmentally conscious 11 year old at gun point and made them write a story. The cigar chomping military guy working for corpos wants to pilfer a beautiful planet for its resources with disregard for the native populations that live there. Where have I seen that before? Oh yeah, ALL AROUND ME, EVERY FUCKING GOD DAMN DAY. Get an original idea.
Fuck this stupid piece of shit dumbass movie. It’s intellectually insulting. It’s a disgrace.
/endrant
It’s just “Fern Gully”… But with blue people. Go ahead, watch Fern Fully (1992) then watch Avatar.
It’s a rip off.
THANK YOU! I’ve constantly called it “Fern Gully as reinacted by Starship Troopers and the Dragonriders of Pern”
Someone called it more succinctly “Dances with Smurfs”.
The Shawshank Redemption. My boyfriend at the time absolutely loved this film. I can’t stand it. Blokes in prison are so Noble and Misunderstood. They deserve to be free! Bleurgh.
I’m curious to know how that was your takeaway from the movie. The protagonist was wrongly imprisoned and I thought the film thoroughly demonstrated the worst of humanity in some of the incarcerated, juxtaposed against the corruption of prison staff and the protagonist’s own struggle for a pretty powerful message.
Maybe I need to watch it again. It’s been years.
The English Patient. Sex in a tub? That doesn’t work!
But for real, Elaine is right, The English Patient sucks. What a fucking bore of a film to watch.
i see a seinfeld reference
Giddy up!
Inglourious Basterds.
However much I liked all the Tarantino flicks before this one, I just cannot get into Inglourious. Also, everything Tarantino made after that movie is also tainted by the same uneasy feeling I get. If pressed to guess why, I’d say he took the stories out of the ‘now’ and transported them to other times and places, which just does not seem to agree with me.
Ted.
Juvenile fratboy humour done badly, very badly with lots of fan services to get the brainless cheering.
Made me laugh once in the first few minutes (I can’t even remember the joke) and walked out of the cinema after about an hour.
You tried to watch this movie sober, didn’t you?
That’s the problem, lol. You have to turn off a bit of your brain to enjoy yourself properly.
You have to turn off a bit of your brain to enjoy yourself properly.
People with this attitude are my enemies. Specially if they propose alcohol as method.
That just means the film is stupid.
Elf.
Really anything with that dude is just not funny to me. But that movie is a real low point.
Explain
I don’t really have a reason for it. I just find Will Ferrell annoying as shit, especially dressed up as a little elf boy pretending to be ignorant about mundane facts of life.
