• Uriel238 [all pronouns]@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      1 day ago

      My tactic was to be upfront and sincere, to own my bullshit when I did it, and if they get wittingly manipulative, don’t tolerate it.

      The keepers will strive to do better. The others will reveal themselves.

      Of course, my advantage was years in the recovery sector and the BDSM community (which plays with fire, sometimes literal, sometimes psychological) so I had a leg up re: self awareness.

  • Tedesche@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    If you’re at that point at 25, you should probably reassess your dating choices over the past decade.

    Honestly, people’s relationship troubles almost always have more to do with their issues with their relationships with themselves than they have to do with their relationships with their partners. The two are intertwined, yes, but fixing the former will almost always fix the latter, while fixing the latter will almost always not fix the former.

    Get some good therapy. It’s worth every penny.

      • argon@lemmy.today
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        1 day ago

        Do you use the term “realist” to mean “someone who focuses on arbitrary negative events to excuse their self-harming behavior of actively avoiding personal growth and progress”?

        • LouNeko@lemmy.world
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          23 hours ago

          I think they mean somebody who realizes about them self that their inability to reliably put food on the table is probably not looked favorably upon in terms of a partner. The reason for that can be purely environmental or psychological but mostly a bit of both.