He’s 48, the girl is 17. Yes, their relationship is legal here; legality is not the point, but morality and ethics - I don’t think it’s okay. They’ve been dating for a few months now. I only found out about it recently when he started bringing her home to spend the night (I’m 19 and live with him). Dad’s been widowed since 2023. Her parents know and support this relationship - heard it straight from their mouth when they came to visit. My family believes the girl is a gold digger so she’s the one in the wrong. My dad and I are very close, he’s always been an amazing dad, supports me in every way a person can be supported… I’m queer and being queer in Romania isn’t well received to say the least, but he’s always had my back and I feel safe because of him. Now for him to go and do something like this… I talked to both him and the girl, he says it’s just something that happened (he didn’t go looking for it); she says she loves being spoilt and how “chill” my dad is (she characterized the relationship as a cold day in bed under the warm covers). I don’t really know what I’m looking to hear honestly, but I want to talk about it.
Honestly when you put it like that I think my moral objections are shaped by what I read online. Like I asked this on Reddit too and people told me to go no contact with my dad cause he’s a pedophile (I don’t want to go no contact with him cause I love him). I can’t really state a personal “why” reason for moral objections. I know my dad is a good man and wouldn’t hurt anyone intentionally.
Unfortunately, that’s what usually happens. Asking the “why” is the most fundamental thing here; it is what shapes who you are, and questions those moral views you have gained or has been projected on you.
The most important thing is, that you know the situation best. So basing your morals off of incorrect wording such as in reddit, will further drag you down.
Sometimes good people do not-so good things. As to the reason, no idea. You know him better than we do. This sounds like a really uncomfortable situation and I don’t know that there is much you can do aside from telling him you don’t support the relationship. Whatever happens, it’ll be okay. It sucks now but things get better in time. I doubt the relationship will last anyway.