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- cross-posted to:
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People. You don’t need this shit. I promise.
Never buying smart anything. Wish we could buy a smart president though.
Close your eyes, take a moment and just imagine the engineering culture at Eight Sleep. I’d almost rather be homeless than work there.
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It’s amazing that they actually designed the beds to fail in the worst possible way. I mean this is cartoon crazy.
Ha, this reminds me of the death of the guy that gave the world lead poisoning.
He also invented CFCs, the chemical that nearly destroyed the earth’s protective ozone layer. Quite a guy.
A one man environmental disaster. J. R. McNeill opined that Midgley “had more adverse impact on the atmosphere than any other single organism in Earth’s history”
also CFCs!
he was a one-man ecological disasterHis best invention was the bed that killed him! If only those who designed the “smart” beds that need functioning network access (and working AWS) had all been in one.
So instead of it defaulting to last known good settings, it couldn’t poll AWS to retrieve the user settings and either just went into debug alert mode or the hardcoded defaults are full upright and max temp. More premium products kneecapped by poor management in a race to enshittify everything
$2000 is very mid for a bed.
The heck are you talking about. My tuft and needle mint WITH the added cost of extra pillows and a sheet set wasn’t even a full $2000 it’s one of the best mattresses I’ve ever seen in my life I’ve had it for like 5 years now and there’s still zero indication of any type of settling or imprinting on the foam, it’s the perfect mix of firm supportive but comfortable and shape fitting. And every time I’ve seen a bed more expensive than that it’s felt terrible and basically just been about buying the brand name or some stupid exotic material it’s made of
No it is not.
I paid $700 CAD for my king size. You bougie
Online first, and they’re only now working on offline mode? Okay…
this is worse than getting locked out of your smart oven for not paying subsceiption
A reminder to not buy “smart” home appliances unless you can self-host it’s internet connectivity or its “smart” features are optional.
You had me until “unless”.
smart home appliances are tolerable if they have 0 (zero, cero, null, ling, sifr, mee-then, noll) internet access
Yup, Zigbee all the way! Although that new Matter protocol seems kinda promising as well
You also have wifi with tasmota or esphome. Some products come with optional cloud features turned off by default (and no automatic updates), like Shelly. You can also flash them, but the factory firmware is so unobtrusive that I don’t bother.
I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. But why does a bed need to be smart? This is the dumbest timeline ever. It really is
To help people with paralysis shimmy into their wheelchairs in the morning and to keep the elderly in poorly insulated homes from freezing in the night.
okay sounds good. why the cloud thou
Thou must use the cloud so that thine company hast a recurring revenue stream.
Likely has remote monitoring and control functionality for nursing staff or families
From what I’ve seen, it’s actually a really good product. Just that the company is trash and forces subscriptions and the mattresses to be always online.
How can that possibly be a good product?
The tech and the physical product is good. The software and the system around it is bad.
forces the mattresses to be always online
Bahahahaha!
I feel like if I was gonna put a computer attached to a motor & heater inside a bed, the very first step would be making sure that if the software goes wrong, it always defaults to staying bed shaped and not catching fire.
I know I know hindsight is 20/20, I’m sure I’m just missing something. Venture capitalists would just give their money to any random idiot with a pitch, right?
why? what if they want more money and decide to make it go subscription based? do you and the shareholders want to risk people just…unplugging them and continuing to use them? the mere idea made me drop my monocle .
It’s already subscription based lol
Wow, imagine having to pay a subscription to have a 2-year warranty.
why do people buy these things!?!?!
Because they sold their house they paid 12 acorns for for $2M and grandpa already has a Corvette.
Because bored Western middle class in a consumerist society.
Because their favourite YouTuber tells them how much better they’re feeling after getting one.
It’s why sponsorships are an outright negative for me when looking at products. They abuse the authority influencers seem to get. “Oh I like him and his videos, he wouldn’t lie to me.” Yeah right.
Absolutely, some youtubers are nothing but paid shills.
On the other hand, there are some who have a lot of integrity. If TechMoan for example tells us that something actually works, I’ll be very inclined to believe him.
Reminds me that nurse interview in Spain during the blackout:
“But your hospital doesn’t have a backup generator?? -Oh we have solar panels, we could be running off the grid! But the power management system requires an Internet connection, and it’s down!”
The nurse knew that the power management system required an Internet connection? That’s one geeky nurse.
Still, I have hope with things like solar panels. I think these are likely to be teething pains there. Being off-grid on a solar panel is probably a pretty common situation, so they’re probably going to eventually work out the kinks. As long as there isn’t a monopoly on power management systems, or regulatory capture by the companies that make them, probably the ability to work disconnected from both the power and Internet grids will eventually happen. But, with Internet-of-Things stuff, there’s often a commercial incentive to mine people’s data and lock them into a subscription service model. So, that’s really going to require regulation to fix.
What a stupid fucking product.
Sorry, I meant to say “stupid fucking people buying stupid fucking products.”
Right, and we should protect them by passing laws penalizing companies from such shitty software. Cuz the average person can’t access the source code.
Beds are often used for fucking. Beds are fucking products.
You know this bed is great and all, but what it’s really missing is a mandatory connection to the Internet!
…jfc
“Carla! Carla! What the fuck is this? I know you sleep on a 25. A 25 or a 30 if you fuck up swiping. I know for a fucking fact that you would NEVER choose to sleep on a 60, and yet I found a goddamn record of a 60 when I was out last week. Who was it? Who was here?”
I really can’t see any other reason. A dial isn’t sexy but it’s far easier in every way
Look you wanted a smart bed. We either incorporate that locally and jack the price and size 50%, or we offload the processing to a server farm and require internet
