I’ve done some bicycle-only stretches in my life. It’s funny how literally every person I knew assumed I’d gotten my driver’s license suspended for DUIs.

Which highlights the utter insanity of food delivery services: you’re paying $10 to $20 extra to have food that is already shitty and overpriced brought to you in an even worse condition.

Or using stairs. “Ooh. Ah. Ugh. Argh.”

You kids and your Gores and Kuciniches. Pepperidge Farm remembers Mondale/Ferraro. Shit, we remember McGovern.

Next you’ll be telling me there are active oil wells in downtown Los Angeles.

It was tee-ball, I stopped playing after six months.

I played t-ball. I struck out in every at-bat … in t-ball. Fortunately I excelled at defense: coach put me in right field and the other teams were so scared of me they never hit the ball there.

KLF is gonna rock you.

“I cut myself in half and became two of me.”

Where I live, a few stop signs have a square white sign below them that says “EXCEPT FOR RIGHT TURN”, i.e. you don’t have to actually stop if you’re turning right. It’s incredibly fucked up - it works fine if you’re a local and you’re familiar with these signs, but people new to the area don’t know anything about it and if they’re on the crossroad they actually expect the other driver to stop since all they see is the backside of the octagon. It’s pointless to have these signs anyway since people usually roll through stop signs as it is.

Why would you have failed? You are supposed to come to a complete stop at a stop sign.

It’s hilarious to me that Musk claims to work 100 hours a week but he’s the CEO of five companies. Even if the claim were true (and of course it isn’t) it means being the CEO of one of his companies is a 20-hour-a-week job at best.

I know many people who believe that “right on red” means they have the right of way to make the turn and don’t have to stop first or yield to traffic.

Butler was (will be?) right!

Japanese cars are superior to American cars

I had a high school friend who went on to become an engineer at General Motors. One of his first projects for them was tearing down an Infiniti and a Lexus when those cars first came on the market. He said that at the time, GM cars typically had between 300 and 400 production defects of varying severity. When they took apart the Infiniti, they found 2 production defects; when they took apart the Lexus, they found 0.

Random tea story: I travelled in India a few … shit, decades ago. On one of my train trips there was this one guy selling tea from a big urn. Usually these guys jump on at a station, sell cups of tea or coffee to whoever wants it, then they jump off at the next station; they can’t sell tea or coffee in more than one car because the passageways between cars are usually kept locked.

This one guy walked up and down the aisle selling a few cups, then he went to the door (the car doors that people use to get on or off the train are usually kept open or they’re not even there) and while holding his urn in one hand grabbed the vertical handrail on the outside of the door with his other hand, swung himself out into space (this while the train was moving at full speed), grabbed the handrail of the next car and swung himself in. He did this just so he could sell a few more cups of tea before we reached the next station.

People tend not to believe me when I tell this story, but there are a bunch of Youtube videos from India showing people doing even crazier shit than this on trains. For me, it just tends to make me not sweat the tea rings underneath my cup.

Edit: found the one I was thinking of.

you will be limited by the gasses in the atmosphere

Lol if you’re going to abandon the round earth theory, you might as well dump the concept of an atmosphere, too.

Uh, sir? This is a Wendy’s.

You show me a boat filled with dildos made from potatoes, and I’ll show you a dictatorship.

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I don’t know how they did it

This is one of the dangers of having a corrupt government in the modern world that is openly for sale. Conservatives might think it’s fine that money can and should influence politicians, but they’re dead quiet about the fact that the money doesn’t have to only come from American sources.