I’ve pretty much hit rock bottom and come to the conclusion that I can’t stay on my current trajectory. It’s already cost me one, if not two, relationships, and I’m tired of dating on hard mode. I’m worried I might be too far gone, so it would be immensely helpful to hear from someone who’s been in the same place and managed to turn things around.
I can manage a week or two with the power of self loathing but once the urges come back I’m really, and I mean really good at coming up with excuses.
Im not going to be the best at this advice as I recovered after getting into a relationship.
I can give you some advice and it would be try a simple fast. During the day eat nothing and let that be your craving until night comes and then eat something simple. Bread, rice, etc. Appreciate the simple things.
Most people have too much sugar - which gives you a dopamine release. Constant dopamine release makes your receptors less sensative to dopamine. Higher baseline means you usually will struggle to actually feel pleasure, hence forming this porn dependence. For a moment you can enjoy things as nutting is meant for reproductive goals, aka the main purpose of the animal nature. So it gives a way higher dopamine release.
Once you do cut off porn you can enjoy going out and the simple sight of someone pretty will make you have a pleasant moment. People don’t care if you admire them with your eyes as long as you don’t fixate. Porn itself is unrealistic and if you want to be honest with yourself as I was - the only way to get a similar real world experience is to be the cuck - as you seem to want a relationship. I’m not into that as I am very territorial with those I love.
That’s what porn is, you are just a spectator and not being intimate. Someone else is doing all the actual work and you at no point have to actually understand your sex partner. No commitment and laziness to boot.
Before I discovered the trick of fasting I was already doing exercise. Started with walking wherever I could, to quote a work of art, “She said to me, ‘If you would love me as a man, then live as a man. Travel as a man.’” We are not the machines that facilitate our lives, but the strength to endure and grow. My left foot would lock up while laying down and hurt like a bitch, because of how unused they were - it would hurt for a week or two after. Since then I never have this issue and have found nee things to improve in my body, I stretch more and more, I strength train sometimes, and cardio is a necessity.
Put it all together.
You like hot people go out to the beach or zoo or anywhere and you’ll see them enjoying life. You’ve seen naked people before so you can fill in the blanks if that’s what you really care about. What’s left to the imagination is often much more enticing. It’s easier to have someone else do the work, than to actually take the time and learn how to enjoy someone else’s body - for they have needs and wants you must serve.
Do you want to sit by and let life fly past you or do you wish to have agency in this world? All this advice is not to deal with porn but to stop you from sitting in the stagnation of sheol.
I have lost 110 pounds since 2023. Slow down life and have presence where you are. Enjoy the flowers you walk by, curiousity for the insects you spot, and admire the brilliance of human ingenuity. See more where you saw nothing. Indulge the world, and in turn the world will indulge you.
For context at how rock bottom I was; I hosted my own porn serverfor myself. 8tb of JAV as they have the best metadata systems through the codes, as well as hentai since sites like MyAnimeList treat them as anime. 4tb of amateur and western videos combined with comics/doujins/pics. I would nut only clear liquid and is why I started the change. I want kids and I feared I was infertile, then I realized how would a fat slob catch up to his own kids?