I stopped listening to it because I made the “mistake” of dedicating it to my then girlfriend. I had always wanted to dedicate the song to someone, it never crossed my mind that things would not end well. When we broke up I deleted the song from my playlist and regretfully stopped listening to it, the memories it was associated with were too painful.
Recently I am trying to reconnect with the song. The memories are still there, but now they are warm and bearable, melancholic but sweet.
Eh. Not really. I haven’t been able to trust anyone since. I’ve been in and out of FWB situations, but I make it clear with the women that I am not able to give them anything more from the start and eventually they all start falling for me and I have to end things. Just happened again for the umpteenth time a few weeks ago.
I’ve done therapy and meditation and drugs and whatever else you can think of. I already had very limited trust with people before her, but after that relationship I just cannot give anyone the emotional depth and/or trust they deserve in a loving relationship so I’ve just kinda accepted that I’m gonna die alone. I’ll probably get a dog or three one day when I live somewhere that allows them. It is what it is.