I’ve recently started reading the book by Dale Carnegie and so far, roughly a third into it, I’ve found it pretty good although not revolutionary. What are you folk’s opinions on it?

Addendum: also any advice for making genuine connections and interact with people for someone whose social skills are not the sharpest?

  • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works
    3·
    8 hours ago

    It’s a decent starting place. It’s really just a curated collection of basically useful advice: take an interest in the interests of others, ask friendly questions, etc. Like you said, nothing revolutionary, but it’s a great baseline for someone who struggles in social situations.

    As to the addendum, it’s like most other skills. Just get out there and get some hours trying, failing, trying better, failing better, etc until you start succeeding more than you fail.

    If you’re in college, join some clubs and go to parties. If not, bars are still a decent place to get some practice in, but if that’s not your thing try to find some moderately social hobbies. Clubs and hobbies are particularly great because you have an implicit topic you can make small talk about. Still, bars and parties are also great because the consequences for failure are particularly low.

    HtWFaIP plus college parties are how I developed my social skills, augmented with inherently social jobs. I used to be an anti-social weirdo, and now people look at me incredulously when I tell them I’m an introvert.

    So just get some practice. You’ll be awkward at first; you’ll say the wrong thing, you might offend people a bit, you’ll have some awkward silences. But people will forget, and you’ll get better over time. In fact, if you’re like me, deliberately building this skill can eventually make you more socially capable than the average person.