Now that we have determined in this thread that a friendly/flirty conversation is indeed not harassment, women are just people too, the old gender roles are dead and public parks are a singles hunting ground, how do I make it clear I’m open to being approached?
Since chatting someone up is out of the question for me, I’d rather hedge my bets on some women using those tricks all you Casanovas left in that thread on me. We’re all progressive here, I don’t see why the man must start this dance.
But I can’t help but notice that this plan has not worked at all yet. How do I express I’m single and ready to mingle, except by just having that printed on my shirt? Like was said, having just a friendly conversation with any gender would be a start, can’t remember those happening in a while either.
Do something poorly/dangerous in the gym, attach yourself (politely) to the person who comes to help,
Or do something you’re passionate about and offer your knowledge to people who are earnestly trying their best but not doing it well (be conscience and ask if they’d like your experience to guide them)
Alternatively go hang out at an old folks home, they’d love your company, they’ll regail you with stories from their glory days, and they’ll probably talk you up to their family.
Volunteer your time at animal shelters/public service events.
Re: the old folks home - sometimes people do volunteer singing groups for entertainment. If you like singing and are halfway OK at it (or at least sound good in a group), I recommend it if you find the opportunity, and like the kind of music old people may enjoy (I dig the Kingston Trio hard now, which was a wildly unexpected turn of events).
To this day, one of my favourite memories was doing one of these shows with an audience member going off about banging dudes under the boardwalk after we sang “Under the Boardwalk”, smoking banana peels, and all sorts of things that made her my favourite person over 70 (sorry Grandma).
Hell yes! Grandma was wild! I love old person stories, so many of them are fabricated, but also so many that I think are fabricated turn out to be legitimate. Oh you did party with (famous people from back in the day)? No shit…
This probably explains some of the interactions I’ve had when all I wanted to do is to help someone in need. Not in the gym, but mostly in the streets. Like someone getting lost, and offering to show them the way. Or offering my seat to the elderly.
But really, being helpful sometimes is all it takes for give someone the reason to talk to you (and vice versa). Not that I managed to be in a relationship with this kind of a start.
I hate it as a tactic that’s been used on me, but darn if it isn’t effective. Also I genuinely appreciate people who offer their advice when I’m doing something foolishly, but my actions are from a place of genuine ignorance, not trying to catch someone into my friend circle.
And the other way is distasteful too! Going around helping people because you want to “fish for friends”? Yeah, you could do worse things, I suppose, but still pretty icky.
Some people though, they can be pretty classy about it and if done that way, and no one is harmed, why not?