Maybe ‘museum quality’ means ‘good enough for the gift shop’.

It’s awkward. I’m not upset, please stop insisting that I should be. Am I now failing to live up to your expectations by being okay with stuff?

I think headphones aren’t tight enough to leave divots, but cochlear implants might make them wonder.

I mean, you’re just coming off sounding like an Apple-hater and someone who hasn’t ever actually owned an iPad. Maybe even a bot.

Yeah, that opinion was clearly an attack on an in-group you personally identify with! /s

Recycled plastic bin liners. They literally split at the seams as I was peeling them off the roll.

Second place goes to a pair of cheap shoes. Literally walked the soles off them in two weeks.

Third place goes to a pair of nail clippers from a consignment store. The metal bent rather than cut through my fingernails. (Maybe it would have worked better under the red sun of my home planet?)

Solve the puzzles. One of them’s gotta lead to a magical fantasy kingdom.

Well, it’s Australia. Spiders have the vote.

…you can do that?

“I’m not here to fuck spiders” - said by Australians who want to drop the preamble and get down to business.

I’m taking three days of annual leave between Easter and ANZAC day next month. I’ll be out of the office eleven days straight. Time to properly unwind.

Anchovies with olives and capers.

Salt, salt and salt? I’m on board, but I wonder how many other people would be.

My only rule for colour is that I should be able to spot it immediately if I drop it in a narrow, unlit crevice. I’ve got some bright red and safety orange tools.

Not for quite some time now. Not since I learned about the electoral college.

Boardgaming. I play an occasional boardgame with my friends, but I’m not searching youtube clips for strategies, importing first-print Euro games in the original German and printing English-language stickers for the boards, or watching Essen livestreams every year.

Karma-farming. Please lets just be our genuine, authentic, awful selves.

I tried it because it was the captain’s favourite. Regrettably, bergamot oil is not for me.

If you’re buying two litres of cider, it’s not because you like cider.

You can buy 2L beer containers in New Zealand, but they’re a specialty item. Largest I’ve ever seen at the supermarket or bottle shop is 1L.

As for coffee, it’s probably because our laws are weirdly restrictive on how much caffeine you can have in one drink. Energy drinks can’t contain more than an equal amount of coffee, for example.

No. Pretty sure the origin of that quote is a Shakespeare villain.

The way you’ve described the situation, it sounds like you’re the problem.