You can’t entirely blame someone who was unwell for not handling things as best as they could. You did what you needed to, you get the help you needed, and now you can do better. That alone is more than so many people can do, just because depression is a sneaky, underhanded, evil monster!
I hope that you can find a line to walk between taking responsibility for your actions, and giving yourself grace for what you were going through.
I always tell folks that not being miserable, when you’ve had depression for so long, is such a step up that “happy” didn’t even matter to me for years.
You seem like you’re being so smart! I’m really impressed!