Gather around for tales of the Beforetimes when everything seemed brighter and more optimistic, even if the websites were basic and often stupid and sometimes downright tasteless.
So come along all you jaded old greybeards and plucky young Internet archaeologists, share what you’ve found out there in the patched deserts of the Internet outside of the great walled cities of the Big Web.
Real Ultimate Power: The Official Ninja Homepage - it definitely helped me become the ninja I am today, I even bought the boom. If “yes” doesn’t load this is the right page.
I remember being a young teen and thinking The Best Page In The Universe was peak humour.
you’re the man now dog
punch the keys for God’s sake
The End of the Internet - as mentioned before, this was back in the day when that seemed almost plausible. These days even completing PornHub is tricky - it’s the end of level bosses that get you every time.
The one thing I miss about Reddit is to be able to say “shubreddit”
Fat Chicks in Party Hats - gone but not forgotten, even if everyone involved would probably wish it was.
Somethings are probably best left in the past.
Statue Molesters, as mentioned here I brought this up in conversation the other day to blank stares and it took some solid digging to unearth that one.
I’m sad to see that Crying while Eating is now defunct, but at least it was safe by the archive.
I don’t know if I ever pinned down what I found so powerful about that page, but it’s one I think about regularly.
I shall tell you a tale of the before times. When you wanted everyone to see what you were interested in or find something interesting, you had to upload everything on your web page. You would create your own web page, and that required an angelfire account or a geocities account, unless you had money and had someone else create a page for you. Everyone knew basic html because there was always that one kid that learned from their dad and we would swap lines of code to create better pages.
Portal of Evil - which does demonstrate our naivety, as it wasn’t that evil, at least by modern standards.
Bonus points for Hardware!
It seemed a good fit as I was writing the last line.
Steve Jackson Game’s warehouse23.com/basement
… used to spend hours there, opening random boxes. Basically SCP, before SCP was a thing. (And it was ripped off to make an SF show, ‘Warehouse 13’).
That’s cool and rings no bells, despite it bring very much my kind of thing.
