I’m in my mid thirties, me and my friends always have been like this. We also cuddle sometimes, always have.
When we had movie nights we would have what we’d call the puppy pile - just put your head on my shoulder bro.
We didn’t even know it was unusual until a friend visited with his gf while we had movie night and she was endeared when she saw the puppy pile “I love how comfortable you all are with each other!” - “What do you mean?”
Speaking for myself, and likely the broad majority of adult straight men in the world, I would feel very uncomfortable in that kind of environment and would not enjoy physical contact with even good friends.
Is this feeling a product of an entire system of social constructs based on things like sexual insecurity and iron-age standards of masculinity? Definitely… but it’s not something I could turn off and on, the mask has grown into the flesh.
Would our world be better if everyone, broadly, across all genders and ages and cultures were more physically close and less worried about sexual feelings or less concerned with physical intimacy of any kind? Also absolutely, so I hope this kind of culture does spread. We need people, men especially, to start having friends and relationships with other humans again. When we all decided as a society that men must be isolated walls of stone, we lost something important in our shared fabric.
Never ever have I felt any urge to touch someone I’m not sexually attracted to, not when drunk, not when high. I’d feel very uncomfortable in a group like this. Hated hugs since I was a kid.
I agree, my only contention is: not something important. Something fundamental to existence. Humans are primates, and touch is one of the most natural interactions a primate has. It is calming, safety, belonging.
A recent study I saw on science alert talked about how “men experience touching their partners as one of the best solutions to their anxiety”. Yeah, no shit, the sun also rises in the morning lol just my 2 cents
I get you, but there’s also implicit trust in a cuddle. I’m farsighted so my personal space extends like 20 feet away (where my eyes start to be able to focus) and if I can’t see you well without my glasses on, you’re in it.
Having a 20 foot sphere of personal space is ridiculous, so I’ve just gotten used to people being in my space. Five feet away could just as well be snuggling if I’m uncomfortable with you.
All that said, the improv group i used to be in had a regular bad movie night. There’s always be at least fifteen people in a cuddle puddle. Sometimes I miss that.
I’m in my mid thirties, me and my friends always have been like this. We also cuddle sometimes, always have. When we had movie nights we would have what we’d call the puppy pile - just put your head on my shoulder bro.
We didn’t even know it was unusual until a friend visited with his gf while we had movie night and she was endeared when she saw the puppy pile “I love how comfortable you all are with each other!” - “What do you mean?”
Cuddle your bros, bros! It’s nice :)
Speaking for myself, and likely the broad majority of adult straight men in the world, I would feel very uncomfortable in that kind of environment and would not enjoy physical contact with even good friends.
Is this feeling a product of an entire system of social constructs based on things like sexual insecurity and iron-age standards of masculinity? Definitely… but it’s not something I could turn off and on, the mask has grown into the flesh.
Would our world be better if everyone, broadly, across all genders and ages and cultures were more physically close and less worried about sexual feelings or less concerned with physical intimacy of any kind? Also absolutely, so I hope this kind of culture does spread. We need people, men especially, to start having friends and relationships with other humans again. When we all decided as a society that men must be isolated walls of stone, we lost something important in our shared fabric.
Never ever have I felt any urge to touch someone I’m not sexually attracted to, not when drunk, not when high. I’d feel very uncomfortable in a group like this. Hated hugs since I was a kid.
I agree, my only contention is: not something important. Something fundamental to existence. Humans are primates, and touch is one of the most natural interactions a primate has. It is calming, safety, belonging.
A recent study I saw on science alert talked about how “men experience touching their partners as one of the best solutions to their anxiety”. Yeah, no shit, the sun also rises in the morning lol just my 2 cents
I get you, but there’s also implicit trust in a cuddle. I’m farsighted so my personal space extends like 20 feet away (where my eyes start to be able to focus) and if I can’t see you well without my glasses on, you’re in it.
Having a 20 foot sphere of personal space is ridiculous, so I’ve just gotten used to people being in my space. Five feet away could just as well be snuggling if I’m uncomfortable with you.
All that said, the improv group i used to be in had a regular bad movie night. There’s always be at least fifteen people in a cuddle puddle. Sometimes I miss that.