You’ve heard of truck nuts! But let me tell you about the next big thing in the nut world! BUTT NUTTS!!!
That’s right if you’ve ever wanted to assert your masculinity, your feelings of insecurity, or just your plain old love of nuts, order Butt Nutts today!!!
“But what are Butts Nutts?” You may ask.
Here at Nothin’ Butt Nut Industries, we have taken the heartiest, most America loving, and God fearing nuts we could find and made a mold of them. We’ve attached our perfect nut molds to ultra secure butt plugs. Available in multiple sizes!
Our patent pending butt plugs were designed with the security and versatility of all wheel drive in mind. Just like you can trust your truck to get you where you need to go in any weather. You can trust our Butt Nutts to stay in place regardless of the weather outside, excluding hurricanes and tornadoes.
Order today and receive our special edition All American Nut Rings. Its a cock ring with a little eagle on top and nuts on the bottom of the cock ring. Also the eagle has nuts too.
Want more??? We’ll throw in our signature Black Gold Oil Field Lube. The only lube to deliver the rich smell of American oil and the ultra slick glide of top quality lube.
Butt Nutts: Leave them wondering about your bulge in the back! Order Butt Nutts now!!! Made by Nothin’ Butt Nut Industries, we’re nuts about nuts!!
Oddly enough, MAGA-themed sex toys may be an untapped but highly lucrative market. Cock ring with an eagle attached? Coming to a cringy Fetlife profile near you.
I honestly don’t know what the fuck I was exactly I was going for with this. The words/image of butt nutts popped into my mind and I ran with it. I guess I was targeting the truck nutz crowd which probably has major overlap with MAGA. However, I deeply resident the idea I accidentally created MAGA themed sex toys. Fuck MAGA, but not like that. Never like that.
That being said I am so tempted to cash in on the MAGA craze/grift with selling cheap dumb shit, even better if the products are shotty. But damn I’m too lazy/I have a touch too many morals
I know that feeling. Years ago, I was really tempted to give up arguing with audiophiles and try to make money off them instead. Didn’t do it because I have too many morals.
But I wouldn’t judge you for grifting MAGA. Make that guy with a confederate battle flag tattoo on his Fetlife profile pay up.