• ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    8 hours ago

    I tried the library, but unfortunately my local is populated with people whom it would either be illegal and/or undesirable to date, it’s mostly kids and olds (like, grandma/grandpa old. I’m an old but not that old, I’m looking for something in a decade-size 30s), or unfortunately houseless people (and while that in and of itself isn’t necessarily a dealbreaker, it often comes with things that are in my experience, can’t be dating addicts anymore for my own health, it is what it is.)

    Bookstores maybe, and I’ve seen people in the store that I totally would love to get to know (who knows how it’d go y’know but I’m down for some coffee or something to determine compatibility beyond attraction yadda yadda), however it is my understanding that it is never appropriate to approach a woman in public and talk to her while she’s just trying to go about her business shopping, or god forbid working, anywhere.

    • Banana@sh.itjust.works
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      5 hours ago

      I mean, there’s no cheat code to meeting people. It requires you to put yourself out there, and what better way to put yourself out there than to publicly enjoy things you enjoy?

      Do things you’re interested in, self express (have fun with clothes, pins, patches, whatever, they make a good conversation starter), notice other people self expressing. As far as approaching people goes, it’s always safe to quickly compliment something somebody obviously put effort into, and then from there you can gauge whether they’re interested in more of a conversation.

      An example being if somebody has clearly crocheted their bag or something, you could say something like “that is a great bag, did you make it?/where did you get it?” Big rule when complimenting is ALWAYS be ready to let a conversation end where it starts. You’re just throwing a ball into their court to see if they engage further than a “thank you!” You’re just throwing out a line to see who bites, because nobody owes you their attention, but somebody who wants to give it may make it clear if you open the floor.

      Opening yourself up to rejection is difficult and scary, but also just a necessary part of making connections.