I mean i’m a barely theist witchy type.

my god has:
an exoskeleton,
acid breath,
laser eyes,
can regrow limbs,
has five genders that we know of but i’m not sure of all of the names of or if they even have names (not making an LGBT joke, genders kind of like a fungus, eldritch, unknowable and confusing as all hell describes them best),
tastes one hell of a lot better than jesus (i have tasted their jesus he is dry and crumbly) a saddle,
and their followers (like me) will get to ride them when we die presuming we were not among the many, many devoured. when my god descends from space

my god is ridiculous. my god gives me an excuse to pinch my wife in the butt. my god is not perfect, not omniscient, and not omnipotent, but better.

i started this right around the same time as the FSM and I refuse to bend