If you miss someone, are thinking about them, or just feel compelled to let them know that they matter to you, get in touch. Don’t make a big deal out of it. Just text, email, or call to say hi. You dont have to expect reciprocity, to make plans, or any big gestures. You thought about them for a reason and you should just touch base and let them know that. That’s how friendships work.
If you feel like you are obligated to connect with them, like it is a chore, like you are putting energy into something that you are not getting anything out of, that is not fulfilling your need or want for companionship, etc., explore why that is and remedy it. That might mean having a frank conversation with the friend about how you feel. That might mean establishing healthy boundaries or expectations. That might mean putting that friendship at a lower priority or leaving it behind. Just take steps to keep everything healthy.
If you find yourself thinking “It’s their turn to call”, “They’re the ones that are always too busy to hang out, so it should be on them to reach out when they are free”, “They didnt say thank you for the thing I did for them”, etc., then you are part of the problem that needs to be fixed. Friendships arent meant to be transactional, someone else’s job, or an entitlement. You need to re-examine your behavior and the way you see the other person if you feel those things.
3 points to remember.
If you miss someone, are thinking about them, or just feel compelled to let them know that they matter to you, get in touch. Don’t make a big deal out of it. Just text, email, or call to say hi. You dont have to expect reciprocity, to make plans, or any big gestures. You thought about them for a reason and you should just touch base and let them know that. That’s how friendships work.
If you feel like you are obligated to connect with them, like it is a chore, like you are putting energy into something that you are not getting anything out of, that is not fulfilling your need or want for companionship, etc., explore why that is and remedy it. That might mean having a frank conversation with the friend about how you feel. That might mean establishing healthy boundaries or expectations. That might mean putting that friendship at a lower priority or leaving it behind. Just take steps to keep everything healthy.
If you find yourself thinking “It’s their turn to call”, “They’re the ones that are always too busy to hang out, so it should be on them to reach out when they are free”, “They didnt say thank you for the thing I did for them”, etc., then you are part of the problem that needs to be fixed. Friendships arent meant to be transactional, someone else’s job, or an entitlement. You need to re-examine your behavior and the way you see the other person if you feel those things.