I had to cut a major shade tree in my backyard, it was ready to fall over. We replaced it with a sapling and I cannot wait for it to grow up, holy shit my deck gets fucking hot! There’s a couple more that gotta go soon too and I’m very reluctant - expensive to cut down, expensive to replace, especially if they are already tall.
The trick with plants is generally to act like the creepiest villian asshole you can. If you dont emotionally abuse your plants, they’re not gonna be any good.
Abuse them. Cut them to be more to your liking, starve them of water to get their roots where you want, groom them like you’re Jeffrey Epstein, emotionally abuse them, occasionally waterboard them, torture them with loud music at all times…
And they will thrive. Its why agricultural societies jumped into depravity faster than their hunter gatherer peers; plants just need abuse.
I had to cut a major shade tree in my backyard, it was ready to fall over. We replaced it with a sapling and I cannot wait for it to grow up, holy shit my deck gets fucking hot! There’s a couple more that gotta go soon too and I’m very reluctant - expensive to cut down, expensive to replace, especially if they are already tall.
Plant and groom the new ones early.
The trick with plants is generally to act like the creepiest villian asshole you can. If you dont emotionally abuse your plants, they’re not gonna be any good.
You want me to be creepy with my plants? Just how creepy are we talking here?
Abuse them. Cut them to be more to your liking, starve them of water to get their roots where you want, groom them like you’re Jeffrey Epstein, emotionally abuse them, occasionally waterboard them, torture them with loud music at all times…
And they will thrive. Its why agricultural societies jumped into depravity faster than their hunter gatherer peers; plants just need abuse.