Source: https://mastodon.social/@MrLovenstein/113844297604610435
Secret panel: https://tapas.io/episode/220482
Alt text from replies: 4 panel comic.
First panel: A strawberry, a raspberry, and a blueberry are sitting on the floor. A tomato comes along and asks: “Can I join berry club?” – “Sorry, Tomato. Berries only”, says Strawberry.
Second panel: Tomato holds up a sheet of paper. “Well this article says I am a berry and you’re not.” Angrily, Strawberry says “No way! ‘Berry’ is right in my name!”
Third panel: Close-up on Strawberry and Raspberry. “What?! I’m an ‘accessory’ fruit? What the hell is that?!”, says Strawberry in disbelief, looking at the paper. “I’m not a Berry either?!!” exclaims Raspberry, sweating.
Fourth panel. “These are strange times for berry club. Strange times.” says Blueberry. Tomato, a watermelon, and a banana are sitting next to it. Strawberry is sitting way in the background, looking sad.
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But they’re classified by the FDA as tree nuts.
Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Stregnth is being able to crush a tomato
Dexterity is being able to accurately throw a tomato.
Constitution is being able to eat a rotten tomato without getting sick
Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing not to put one in a fruit salad.
Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad.
Person: Wouldn’t a tomato based fruit salad be salsa
Person2: Hey I found the bard!
The pitfalls of mixing culinary categories and scientific (botanical) categories. We have to ask ourselves the hard questions: If you were an anthropomorphic fruit, would you refer to yourself with culinary or scientific categories?
I’d refer to myself with scientific categories. I’d refer to me so hard.
You are a fish! Fuck paraphyletic groups!
There’s no such thing as a fish.
I think whether I was a fruit or not, I wouldn’t want to operate with the assumption that I’m going to be eaten, so scientific categories all the way. As a human, I like to think of myself as a mammal/ape/homo sapien/whatever instead of wondering which parts of me are white meat vs dark meat.
I’ve wondered quite a bit about my dark meat vs light meat. I’ve also wondered how well marbled I am. I think I’d be delicious.
As they say, “you eat with your eyes” so most certainly not.
![Berry club [Mr Lovenstein]](https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/844/297/115/621/978/original/563c5a8bf37d234b.png){kind=link}