i’m constantly told to give up on my goals. they’re not even unrealistic, i don’t want to be a big, giant unicorn who saves the world or something.
I’m constantly getting pressured to run on the corporate hamster wheel. I’m so over that life!
Sorry you have to go through that. Try not to let it get to you, but retain the ability to recognize constructive criticism.
It might help to tell us what your goals are so we can judge for ourselves rather than just taking your word for it.
Every ‘goal’ my family gave me and then forced me into pursuing?
Sure, they praised me when I accomplished those things.
Every goal I actually chose for myself, and achieved?
At best, absolutely no help of any kind when I’d ask them for help, general constant dissuasion and negging, and then after I achieve those goals, massive, massive passive aggressive jealously and constant belittling.
I now live several states away, don’t communicate with them, and have finally been able to establish a sense of self, and self-esteem, based around my own assesment of what are good traits and goals, instead of basing them on trying to please incompetent bullies.
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If your goals are, as you say in another post, learning how to make a vidro game, learning to draw, learning basic programming/web design…
These are literally all goals that pretty much most people with sufficient spare time and diligence could figure out the basics of and even become decently competent at with a few years of time… not even in a formal education setting, though that could likely help.
Your goals are extremely reasonable, your family is being ridiculous.
Are you guaranteed to become wealthy via pursuit of these goals? No, of course not.
But you aren’t guaranteed that in most other careers or lines of work either.
If you don’t already have gobs of money and/or influential connections… chances are, you never will.
Unless you are like abadoning a fairly solid career path that you’re already significantly time/money invested in, and just completely abandoning all means of keeping yourself able to eat and sleep indoors for the full time pursuit of hobbies…
Then no, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to learn more skills.
I wanted to be in a famous rock band. It was reasonable to tell me that was highly unlikely. Unless your goals are like that, screw them and do what makes you happy.
Yup. Everything I wanted to be as a child. “That’s unrealistic, give up. Get a degree and work in a cubicle. You’re too lazy to ever be an athlete.”
So I’ve spent the last 3 months telling my mother she’s too stupid to vote, and pointed out that trump agrees.
This sounds like an example of the “crab bucket mentality.” It’s very common, especially among groups who have experienced trauma such as poverty, war, or racism.
You can absolutely live your own life, and learn the things you’re interested in. Still, it’s good to keep some compassion for your family members. They probably do love you and want you to be happy. They might just be frightened of you stepping outside their reality.
Very much the opposite, but probably because what I ended up doing follows their image of success. Become highly educated in a technical field and then make a decent amount of money (on paper, in this economy). Not sure I would have the same approval if I wanted to become, say, a graphic designer.
Give us some examples? What goals are you being asked to give up on?
learning how to make videogames, learning to program a site, drawing, etc.
Follow your passion, but also be practical. For example art was my passion, but I realized at Uni that I wasn’t going to make a living at it so went into trades/engineering. I also enjoyed the C64 programming.
But now I get to use my keen art eye for building some neat 3d CAD renderings and sharp looking PowerPoint’s for corporate presentations. And I’m not a real coder, but the basic functions I can build into our CAD software to automate design work and configurations, based on designer value entries.
If they make you feel happy, don’t listen to them. You may even get good enough to a point where you could make a decent living out of it, if not then you still learned something that could end up being useful when combined with something else.
You can learn those things any time. Do you mean your goal is for your income to be from games/webdesign/art? In that case you can always join a company. If you mean you want to independently create and sell your works it’s going to be very tough. You’re essentially starting your own business and most business startups fail.
Just keep learning new things and decide which things you want to continue to chase. Some things are easier than others, but people do these things and also started at a point where they might have known nothing. It’s about how much effort you are willing to put in to gain these skills.
Of course you gotta do stuff to pay the bills now, but don’t let people destroy your ambitions for the future.
@drbollocks very regular goals in my opinion
thanks!
If so, they haven’t told me.
