My dad literally hits me and punishes me by starving me. However, my friend says he’s “just trying to shape me into the perfect young man” and that he “truly loves me”. This almost makes me think she’s either my dad in secret or dating my dad.
In all seriousness, what do I do? Stop talking to her? Talk to her? Be her friend despite it?
Find her father, seduce him, become pregnant with his child, cause him to divorce his wife, forever remind your “friend” that you are her mother now, cut her out of the will, watch her become destitute, laugh at her as she ages prematurely from stress.
You missed them mentioning they are a guy, so he needs to seduce his friend’s mom. I guess he could seduce the friend, get her pregnant, leave her for the mom, get the mom pregnant, and then leave her for the dad. It would take some serious game to pull off and bisexuality, but he would really make a point.