I recently got my grandfather’s WWII side arm. I know it still works at the range, but I wonder if it works on Nazis… I hope I never have to find out.

We sure showed us!

I also hate him, but I’m not transphobic. Maybe he doesn’t hate himself enough? C’mon everybody! Maybe if we all hate him enough, we can save Christmas!

“You better go shout, and spit in his eye! You should avoid Tesla, I’m telling you why. Elon Musk’s a bastard and dumb.”

I used to help out my grandparents and their friends with stuff. My grandparents always insisted on paying me and sometimes their friends would pay me too.

At first, I’d refuse until they told me that it makes them feel bad. So, I’d gladly take their money and save it in an envelope. Then, when something would break or need to be replaced, I’d say, “oh, I have an extra one of those! Gimme a couple of days to look for it.” And then I’d buy it with the money they gave me.

My wife and I would also take my grandparents out to dinner using the money they paid me, or I’d buy groceries and cook them a few meals, but tell them that I accidentally made extras.

Unless she’s paying you way too much, just take the money and then use it to fund helping her.

Pssst… Hey, hey buddy! You got and question marks? I just used my last one.

I’m gonna teach mine to slap unhealthy food out from my hand

I love your optimism! Although, I’m sure it’ll only lead to corporate exclusion laws