The Internet is still cool, you idiots just keep going to the same five sites.

Shame no one couldn’t hear that last panel.

Thank God, he finally looks normal.

I mean the smell is definitely more pugnant, I like to think of it as a newly opened can of coffee, technically the same but the first cup is always the freshest.

This standard would have probably caught on if they wouldn’t have gone and made it backwards.

Objectively you are more likely to need to know the day first, then the month then the year, and when people get lazy they always just leave off the year because it is assumed, but if the year is first you have to say the whole thing or sound stupid.

Help me Satan!

Eggshittification

I’m sure nobody knew how cruel human tattoos would be to our survival either but look at us now…

Assuming you’re a mortal, you shouldn’t have to worry about it in your lifetime. However, if you have sold your soul for immortality, you should wash once every 666th celestial alignment. CAUTION! You should never use regular soap and water, especially anything marketed as sacred or holy water, as this can agitate the skin. Instead, you can find chicken blood in the meat department, or sometimes it is labeled as fishing bait. This is an all-natural alternative. Don’t be afraid to experiment by making your own—there’s nothing quite like organic, homemade products, and you can use higher-quality ingredients than what you find in stores, such as sheep’s blood or the blood of your firstborn. Your immortal soul will thank you for it—oops, silly you, you already sold that.

I googled how to get rid of a giant Rat and it said to get a cat…

Jesus really does protect us.

Early to bed early to rise makes a woman hot sweat and sigh.

Catmate in 3 moves.

Because Ghost Dad keeps dressing Ghost Sun as a Ghost.

I prioritized Lying a long time ago and suddenly I can do anything.

I heard the next Update they are adding in crippling debt as his final move.

After all that I still get brittle bone disease!?!

What? You said you wanted your Bones less dense, do you know how much bone I had to remove to let you fly with hummingbird wings?

Exactly l, you can monitor all the digital goods you want but the people who want privacy can always fall back to cash (technically they can track serial numbers but it’s nowhere near as invasive and can only be counted when it is spent with an untrusted source) they can turn off your banking account but they can’t turn off the cash you have buried in the back yard.

Getting rid of paper money sounds good on paper😏, but it’s genuinely a terrible Idea, It allows the government to track every single dollar you spend, right down to your totally legal weed your definitely smoking in Colorado. It would give the US government the surveillance capabilities of visa, Google and Facebook combined. Which is why I’m surprised it hasn’t happened yet, the only thing I can think of is it would weaken the dollar to other countries, the US could just turn off an entire country organization or individual’s entire economy, China and any country remotely hostile would immediately dump the dollar.

Death to anything less than a dollar, while we’re at it let’s make $5, 10, $25, $50 coins get rid of the paper versions and make paper $500, $1000, and $1500, just shift everything up, then everyone named me is happy.