“loving family”

Oh honey…

Whatever did happen to baby Jane…?

Weird.

You got the words a little out of order:

“Is he dead? Good. Great!”

You’ve summoned Sir Cheese the Grater

“Yo dawg…”

I was working at this small tech company in the mid 00’s, and the office clown was lightly hazing the new guy by reading sexually explicit facts out loud:

C: Hey, did you know that the first DVDA was attempted in City Name, State on Month Day, Year!?

Me, as Morbo the news monster from Futurama: There were no survivors…

Edit: It was the word “attempted” that did me in. If it had said “performed” or “achieved”, my mind wouldn’t have gone there ;)

I remember sitting there thinking “holy crap! I’m going to see a Star Wars in the theatre”!¡!

It’s all I’ve really got the creative energy for anymore, a little more involved than a jigsaw, not as expensive as Lego, and i can still build something

“I want to do something creative, ya know, express ‘me’”!

Buys a pre assembled art “kit”

Six months?! Try 30 years…

Third oldest Cousin from my second oldest aunt: Sexual assault of a minor

Technically rape, as she was too young to consent, and he was way to old to not know better.

I used to joke that if you named a crime, I could name a family member.

They’d probably start recommending criminal defense attorneys.

It’s a game you I never win, I just do a little better each time…

Over two thousand hours in ONI, so I feel ya…

They seem angry…

I can, until i realize that I’m doing it, then it just all goes to shit and i have to switch back to hunt and peck.

I can ten-key like a mother fucker though, used to work at a bank doing data entry…

Moooulllttteeee Paaassss_ssss

The Fifth Element

When i was a manager at Michael’s, I would usually be the one to “scan out” items that went past their sell-by date.

I would always put the expired candy/soda/chips in a box, write “Trash: These items are expired and are NOT to be taken home and enjoyed ;)”

Stick it in the break room in the morning, throw away the empty box about mid-day.

This is AI slop.

How many fingers does the real Lady Liberty have again?