Based booze cruiser fights fascism

Melisa McCarthy

Give me the whole tiddy or give me death

Maybe try a factory reset

Use pin pad to complete transaction

Thanks I hate it

The fuck is a rat fink?

Everyday we tokyo drift further from god

Why do our drones keep crashing into synagogues?

“I swear to God, I left my car for like 5 minutes and it crashed through a synagogue by itself”

Yeah, getting off facebook was probably the best thing for my mental health

Tarrifs

If you are an island inhabited by penguins, believe or not, tarrifs

Why the fuck are my tax dollars being sent to these assholes again?

Look, as long as they’re not right in front of me slowing me down, there won’t be a problem, I either got shit to do or I really have to use the bathroom in those instances