I completely understand. The journey is a long one, in most cases with devastating moments hoping to beat the odds which are almost always stacked against you both. Really what was the first step in this whole thing (beyond the initial “trying” period) was going to the doctor. They were able to diagnose the PCOS in my wife which explained a lot more to her beyond just fertility issues and after that I figured getting checked myself made sense just to see what I was bringing to the table. Beyond that, ultimately it’s a bunch of trial and error, typically you do go through IUI first as it’s not as invasive but then IVF if that didn’t work. The big thing is to not get discouraged. Everyone’s story is different. My wife would “spiral” and read these stories of women who tried for 10+ years and it took 3 IVF attempts before it worked for us (granted we had to use 2 embryos and only one ended up making it all the way) so there is a lot to unpackage there. While I don’t have a reference myself, I’ll ask my wife if she has anything of use and pass it along. I wish fertility wasn’t a thing anyone needed to deal with and wish your family nothing but the best in this situation.

Unfortunately it’s hard to really provide resources without knowing more information. Fertility is different between women and men, and while I do have some experience in this category and so does my wife, the biggest thing I can think of is that communities (such as lemmy but mainly facebook) really helped give perspective to my wife who was diagnosed with PCOS and we ended up going through the IUI and IFV process. I was also told on my end that my sperm had low mobility which added more complications but was remedied with medicine. Sorry for the mini lecture that doesn’t actually provide a ton of info but I’m willing to try to answer any questions you might have if I’m able to!