A relatively recent one that I wrote down:

I was at home and suddenly realized (?) I had some guinea pigs that I took care of and they were thirsty but otherwise fine. I refilled their water bottle but noticed the nozzle was very dirty so I cleaned it. Then I put it back and one of the pigs was starting to drink. Somehow there was a lot of pressure on the bottle and its tongue was caught in the nozzle and was injured!

So I took it out and walked to the next vet, which was in a mall or something in the city center. It was a big room full of people and one of the vets was walking around, he looked a bit like Dr Jacoby from Twin Peaks. I talked to him, he told me - without even looking at the pig - that he could help me but he won’t do it because I gave a bad review last time. I stormed out, shouting at him. For some reason I walked home through a sewer system. Then I woke up.

Ottolenghis Fettuccine with Spiced Cherry Tomato Sauce using plant-based parmesan. One my favorites. Takes a while to cook but is very easy and tasty. And the sauce can be made in a large batch to be used over the week.

Are you cereal?

I once locked myself out of my apartment. It was not locked-locked, just the key was inside. In full panic mode (because my dog was inside and it was late at night) I googled for a locksmith. You can already see the mistakes I made here. I called them, a guy came over with a lot of tools. He showed me the upcoming cost, I had to agree with it on the spot, but it was what he said on the phone. Then he started his work and, unable to open the bolt with sandpaper (why sandpaper I don’t know), began loudly rattling on the door to loosen it somehow. My neighbors were probably really annoyed by this and my dog scared. This went on for 15-20 minutes and it finally worked (don’t remember if it was only from the rattling or something else). It turns out this was unnecessary, more on that later.

We sat down to do the payment and this is the scam part: it suddenly cost 4-5 times the amount he told me on the phone! I was confused but made my next mistake: I paid it because I suddenly had the feeling this is a criminal organization and I would be in trouble with them.

Next day I checked valid prices and it was way overpaid. I tried to ask my bank to get my money back but it was a kind of payment that wouldn’t allow this. I even called the guy back and asked for my money, he laughed at me. I went to the local consumer protection agency, they could not help me. The „invoice“ he gave me was not valid, it had no real company, no sales tax ID. Nothing I could do here. He did actually help me get inside my apartment but it was way too expensive and the guy was not even good at what he was doing.

Multiple mistakes:

• I panicked
• I did not check if I might be able to do it on my own
• I googled
• I did not check if the invoice is valid (I’m no lawyer but it looked sketchy)

Later I learned how to easily break into my apartment in a similar situation using a simple wire. I don’t know why this asshole made it so complicated and loud.

I have since been very paranoid about forgetting my keys.

Pro tip: When you move into a new place, take some time to check for locksmiths and other services in your local area that are legit and save those in your phone book. If something happens you know where to go and don’t have to ask Google.

Not just with women. I usually drag my feet to make some noise when coming from behind. Most times I’m walking faster than other people so I constantly have to overtake them but don’t want to surprise anyone.

Women specifically I try to avoid passing directly, if it’s not too inconvenient or I will look in another direction, on my phone or whatever to make it clear I’m not interested in them.

But if a creep approaches her, I do make sure to stand nearby and be openly aware.

I hate that women need to be so afraid.

God

Strawberry season

• having hundreds, even thousands of unread emails in their inbox and constantly complain they did not see the email I sent them. Fucking unsubscribe from all the newsletters you don’t read and disable that Jira ticket update spam you don’t need to respond to. Suddenly it’s all manageable because you don’t actually get many important emails!
• in general (not just computer related) not learning how to use the tools available to you to solve problems you obviously have

For someone to push the red button and end humanity once and for all

Markus Söder, leader of CSU and minister president of Bavaria.

Constantly raging against progressive politics and culture like a little child. Always working towards Bavaria getting special treatment from all other states in Germany. He even publicly visited a Mc Donalds right after Trump did. He’s just not as rich and powerful fortunately.

I won’t be a father and possibly not even an uncle.

Bad luck for the people not being visited by the missionaries!

Thanks, that’s what I obviously concluded too.

I was always kinda skeptical but the event that triggered my way out was when I asked my mom how can God expect people, who were raised with other religions, to believe in him instead when they simply have no idea. She said they know about God and it’s their own fault for not believing in him. And that for me was not logical because I knew from my own experience that I only believed in God because that’s all I knew.

But it took a while for me to completely stop believing in any deity or whatever supernatural power because I kept looking for reasons why we exist. Now I don’t care for that. Sure the Big Bang is mysterious and we might never solve it but there is no sense in making things up either. Everything else can be explained by science so let’s just go with that.

If the Christian God wants me to believe in him, he should stop being so vague and contradicting. Turn the moon into cheese. Pluck a mountain out of the ground and float it in the sky. Whatever, he is almighty, he should do almighty things.

Ghosts don’t even make sense scientifically. There has not been a single bit of evidence because Videos and photos on their own never proof anything. Aliens on the other hand are just lifeforms on other planets. We ourselves are proof that life exists so the probability of more is not 0. We don’t need sketchy photos as proof for that and they will probably never visit us anyways.

Andrew Bernard, the bearded Jamaican of Make It Dairy Free.

Also Wil Yeung of Yeung Man Cooking.

Both helped me a lot on my journey to vegan cooking and baking.

Don’t know about you but my fingers are not made of paper.

It depends on how large the negative impact of the person or organization because of their view is or how much negative impact it would have on me to boycott it. Like I won’t ever buy a Tesla because Musk is doing a lot of harm to people and should not get a single cent from me but I don’t really care the new Linkin Park singer is or was a scientologist. I won’t buy Nestle products and it’s surprisingly easy to do as there are enough alternatives. But as much as I would like to drop Whatsapp because Meta sucks, it’s simply the main communication service here in Germany.

I think you’ve got to draw some lines and stand by them but you don’t need be 100% Jesus either.

Most people say ummm … uuuh … between words because they were too quick to answer and need to think. It’s a fine line though, which you need to develop over time for yourself. My boss makes very long pauses before he answers and looks kinda frozen while he thinks. It’s a bit confusing but I appreciate that he cares about what we are talking about.

Look up Charisma On Demand on Youtube, it might have some interesting topics for you. Just don’t try to forcefully apply everything. Everyone is a different character with their own quirks and that’s good.

The saying „Think before you speak“ I believe is not meant for during conversations specifically but for when you give your opinion on something and it’s based more on emotion than facts.

Toilets seem to be getting smaller and I’m having trouble sitting on it without my penis touching the front.