Mushrooms you can’t get high from by smoking are non-tokeable fungi.

I knew a cat who once fished some aluminium foil a steak had been grilled on out of the bin and dragged it to his water bowl.

Like Conservapedia, only made of slop

There was once someone who printed a roll of stickers with pictures of wood screws on them, and would put them over the hearts on “I ❤️ MY _” stickers.

Gotta find it, as Charon won’t let me on his ferry otherwise

Nice try, officer.

If it’s the actual Bavarian Illuminati, then they probably picked you as a credulous, deep-pocketed nobleman who can be pumped for membership dues in return for initiation to an endless ladder of degrees, each revealing profoundly esoteric secrets which don’t actually mean anything. If you’re one of a handful who show themselves to be sceptical and open-minded, perhaps Adam Weishaupt will take you aside and reveal that all that woo was just bullshit to part the rubes from their money, and the true mission of the Illuminati is to spread Enlightenment ideals, such as secularism and anti-monarchism, which the authorities take a very dim view of.

The problems will include mysterious coils of wire/parabolic reflectors/resonating cavities embedded in the foundations, presumably to help the Russians/Saudis/whoever spy on the situation bunker underneath.

That’s my emotional support floating skull of doom.

* Slavoj Žižek has joined the chat

Do you want the boring accountant’s truth or the Herzogian ecstatic truth?

More so than that. It was the Nazi-era term referring to “the true Aryan German people”, and excluding all the Nazis regarded as degenerate or un-Aryan, as used in the adjective “volkisch”.

That’s why you should carry a pouch of cat treats at all times

The problem is with “commuter trains”, with their service patterns loaded for large numbers of trips between dormitory suburbs and the CBD at peak hours and minimal or no service otherwise.

I thought it was a sugar spoon with a faceted bowl

The runcible one (1)

According to Swift, eras just became personalised, and rather than everyone entering a new one every ten years, you enter one after a breakup when you change your hairstyle.

What else could you expect from a country whose main tradition is seeing how many Cadbury’s Creme Eggs one can fit up one’s bum.

Health insurance plans to offer porn subscriptions

In a neoliberal society, having some human cashiers for the lonely people to have a natter to about their aches and grandkids while they ring up their groceries is as much human contact as one can ask for. This isn’t Communist 1970s Sweden, where the government employed social workers whose job was to check in on lonely old people.