Look, I know what you’re thinking: “Another guy who threw his money away for digital garbage.”
But you don’t understand. I finally achieved peak financial instability and with it, peak freedom.
I got an email at 3 AM from a guy named “SoupLord69” who was liquidating his entire collection of low-resolution, oddly-cropped JPEGs of various canned soups. I used the rent money I was supposed to pay last Tuesday.
Why This is Genius Inflation Proof: Try arguing the value of a perfectly preserved 2005 JPEG of minestrone soup. You can’t. It’s priceless.
Tax Evasion: How do you tax pure artistic genius? You don’t.
Maximum Chaos Per Euro: The chaos I’ve caused my landlord is worth far more than the soup JPEGs themselves. My dolphin has ascended.
I now live on a diet of ramen and digital soup, but I finally feel like I have control.
Is this the pinnacle of late-stage capitalism, or the only way to truly defeat it? Discuss.
(P.S. If anyone has a good contact for a “Cream of Mushroom” JPEG, please slide into my DMs. It’s the final piece of the collection.)
They call me “financially irresponsible” when I am, in fact, responsible thousands of dollars of damage to my apartment! My landlord is suing me! Sounds pretty financially responsible, doesn’t it!